Too Sexy for Wufei
by Duo-chan
Summary: To the song I'm Too Sexy. Imagine Duo and Wufei alone at the safehouse and Duo's singing I'm too sexy. :: M: sexual themes. Oneshot.


"Yay yay yay yay yay yay!" Duo suddenly came into the television room screaming, a happy grin playing on his face.   
  
Wufei looked up from his book. "Wha?" He wondered out-loud.  
  
"YAY!" Was the loud exclamation as the braided boy started to dance around the room, the smile still splitting his face in two. "Victory dance!" He screamed.  
  
Glaring at the all too happy and spunky boy Wufei could not help but being curious at what the Deathscythe pilot was celebrating. "What is it?"  
  
"Nothing at all!" The violet-eyed teen burst out as he continued his victory dance of sorts.  
  
"Okay..." The Chinese pilot gave another glance to the seemingly psychotic boy dance around the room. He tried, without success to go back to his reading, but having a figure moving everywhere which was a pure bundle on joy and energy did not help him achieve this feat.  
  
"YAY!" Another shout of joy echoed throughout the house which was empty except for the two teens.  
  
"What the hell is going on Maxwell!" The Chinese boy jumped up from the couch and pulled out his katana. This had all gone too far. Why was this normally hyper person even more giddy than usual, and how was he like this? "Tell me now!"  
  
There was a flourish of Shinigami dancing from one side of the room to the other. "Nothing at all Wuffy!" A twirl and then, "YAY!!"  
  
Pointing the katana right at Duo's throat, Wufei is able to momentarily stop the dancing.  
  
Duo backs away from the katana and then goes over the boom box in the room and turns on a CD and spins the volume up very loud. He then proceeds on continuing his dancing.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!"  
  
Still dancing Duo shouts, "MY GOAL HAS BEEN ACHIVED!!"  
  
Lifting up his katana, the 05-pilot demands, "Now tell ME DAMMIT!"  
  
Ignoring the weapon that is, obviously not near enough to make him change anything which he is doing. "Wuffy! Dance with me!"  
  
"Okie," the Chinese pilot slides his katana away and then starts to dance. "Lalalala..." Suddenly, as though slapped across the face, he stops. "What the fuck am I doing?! AHHHHHHHH!!"  
  
"Why did you stop Wuffy?" Duo asks, still dancing.  
  
Wufei sighed and gave up caring. "Oh well. And DON' CALL ME WUFFY!!"  
  
"Okay Wuffy!"  
  
"Fine then, be that way Maxamillian. Lalalala."  
  
"Yay! Wuffy says I'm a millionaire!"  
  
The black haired teen sighed and shook his head. "Can't win 'em all, now can I?"  
  
Duo was still dancing around the room. "Yay! I'm rich!"  
  
"Whatever Maxwell." Very not interested in the dancing, he goes back to the couch and sits back down.  
  
The braided boy stopped dancing and frowned at the turned back. "Hmmm..." /Now what?/ He thought as he looked around the room. Suddenly his face lit up. "Of course!"  
  
"Sweet revelation." Wufei muttered.  
  
The active teen ran and jumped on top of the coffee table in front of Wufei and started a table dance.  
  
"Oh gracious," the Chinese boy sighed.  
  
Duo stopped dancing as his mind set to working. Suddenly an evil grin spread across his face and he darted down the hall to his bedroom.  
  
"Oh Nataku. Make me strong," Wufei prayed, his katana at ready as he heard the loud noises of rummaging. "Oh gracious." There was more rummaging and slams from down the hall. "Oh my God. He's gone insane! What the hell's going on!?"  
  
Suddenly Duo appeared in the hallway wearing all black, a very tight black net tee-shirt, skin tight leather pants, black boots, and a pith helmet. "I'm too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat; oh baby!"  
  
"Oh My God!" Wufei exclaimed right before he ran away screaming. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Duo removed the hat and hung it from one finger, it swinging gently from side to side. He walked casually down the hallway with the heir of a person who had all the time in the world to accomplish what they wanted to.  
  
Wufei was still screaming bloody murder and running for the front door.  
  
The braided boy dropped the hat on the ground. "I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love; love's going to leave me," he continued to sing, finger running down his chest.  
  
Still screaming the Shenlong pilot cut the helmet in half with his katana. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt; so sexy it hurts!" The violet-eyed teen finished with a small pout, still moving forward.  
  
"I KILLED THE EVILE THING!!" Wufei claimed, delighted. Then upon seeing that he was still being followed, "OO GAWD!!" And ran away again. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Disregarding the two halves of the hat Duo continued to grin, just for the fact that all of the doors and windows of the house were locked from the outside.  
  
"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan; New York and Japan." He still walked after the Chinese pilot at a leisurely pace.  
  
"MAXWELL HAS GONE INSANE!! I WILL NOT SUCCUBM TO YOUR EVILNESS!! AHHH!!"  
  
Starting to peal the sides of his shirt up he continued his song. "And I'm too sexy for your party too sexy for you party; no way I'm disco dancing." Shaking his head back and forth and still approaches, lifting the shirt up further.  
  
Wufei screams more bloody murder. "What the fuck!? Where is Heero when you need him?!  
  
"I'm a model you know what I mean," the shirt is taken off, "And I do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah, I do my little turn on the catwalk."  
  
"Oh gracious!"  
  
"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car; too sexy by far," trails fingers down sides, "and I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat what do you think about that?"  
  
"Oh my god!"  
  
Duo grins at the split in two halves.  
  
"I think you're scary." Cuts into tiny pieces.  
  
"I'm a model you know what I mean, And I do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah, I do my little turn on the catwalk."  
  
"You already said that one." A little nervousness tints the voice.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my..." His fingers trail down to his pants.  
  
"God please save me."  
  
"...'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean; And I do my little turn on the catwalk; yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah; I shake my little touche on the catwalk." The American shakes his bottom and still walking forward. "I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat; Poor pussy poor pussy cat; I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love; Love's going to leave me...And..." in a low husky voice, "I'm too sexy for this song." He finishes and then makes a mad sprint to the Shenlong pilot.  
  
"Oh My God!" Wufei eeps and then sidesteps. "Ahahha!! Maxwell falls on his face! Hehehe!"  
  
Duo bounces up and grins. "I'm too sexy for the floor too sexy for the floor....oh....give me something more!"  
  
"Ewwwwwwwwww! Oh My God!"  
  
The Deatscythe pilot starts towards Wufei again.  
  
"Duo is insane! Heheh! AH!" There is a satisfied "hmph" as he puts straight jacket on Duo. "Ahahaa!"  
  
Duo just grins and twists out of it. "I'm too sexy for that jacket...too sexy for that jacket....let's make some racket!"  
  
Turning rather pail the Chinese pilot can only seem to stutter. "Oh...my...holly...Nataku!" And with that cry he jumps into his Gundam. "Save me!"  
  
The braided teen simply stands on the catwalk holding up the vital wires of Nataku.  
  
"Nooooooooo!"  
  
Duo grins and walks forward towards Wufei in Nataku.  
  
The scared pilot pulls out gun. "Ahahhahahhahahahahah!"  
  
"I'm too sexy for that gun too sexy for that gun, why don't we go to the bedroom and have some fun?"  
  
"Do you hear yourself!?!" The defensive pilot asks and then shoots Duo in the kneecap.  
  
Duo nods.  
  
"Hahahaa!"  
  
Duo shrugs off the wound and keeps on walking forward. "I'm too sexy for my luck too sexy for my luck, you and me should really fuck." He chuckles a bit and keeps heading straight for his target.  
  
"Okie. Now its annoying!" Suddenly Wufei knees the seductive pilot in the nuts. "Hahha!"  
  
Duo lets out a loud grunt of pain and falls to the floor, curled in a little ball.  
  
"Ahahahhahhahahahahhaa!"  
  
The stunned pilot uncoils himself. "What the fuck?? Wufei?? What did you DO THAT FOR?!!!!"  
  
"Because you were being .....uhhhh..."  
  
"That hurt!...hurts!!!"  
  
"Sorry," the Chinese boy smirked, not covering up his slight grin.  
  
"YOU BETTER HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING SERIOUS!!!"  
  
"Ahahhhahahhahahahahhahaha!!!"  
  
Duo gets up from the floor gingerly. "Damn...that HURT!!!" Then he looks down. "Where in the hell is my shirt? and why am I wearing these black leather pants?? THESE ARE JUST FOR HEERO!!"  
  
"You took your shirt off somewhere back there."  
  
He spins to face Wufei. "YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYBODY THAT YOU SAW ME WHERE THESE!!!"  
  
Chuckling the pilot states, "No problem. Not like I wanted to. Jeez. Weak onna! Can't take a knee to the nuts!"  
  
Turning red the American spun around. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME??? And what are you talking about "can't take a knee to the nuts"??!!!"  
  
"A WEAK ONNA."  
  
  
"Do you want to feel it?!!!" He hissed. "Awe hell, at least I can walk two seconds after a fellow gundam pilot knees me." Then Duo turns and walks from the hanger back to the house. "At least I'm not like you and would have been down for a couple days!"  
  
"Yeah right! I have balls of steel!"  
  
"Oh yes...onna's balls of steal!" The angered braided boy finished and then disappeared from the hanger.  



End file.
